Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize