apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You're like the curious george of whores
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
