does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize