he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
