I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
