You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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