wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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