1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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