guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
love makes seman taste better
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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