im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
