bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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