Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
