Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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