I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
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If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
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No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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