His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
