i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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