I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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