My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
