..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
