gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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