I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
