I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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