we have pet lesbian snakes
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
