my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
