Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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