Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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