i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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