ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize