I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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