anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
