So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
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I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
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I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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