You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
