forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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