i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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