we're blogging at a bar
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize