Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
