the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
