I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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