she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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