Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
