His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
