I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
