I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize