I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
