its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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