just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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