She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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