careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
