I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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