i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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