why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
