Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
