Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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