what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
