he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
