I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
