She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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