well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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