you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
