plz talk dirty to me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
