listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i believe in u and ur pee
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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